Would you bang you're slightly unattractive coworker? Sure. I'll do anything. I never want to do anything, but am still doing anything. I certainly don't think I need a girlfriend. Not sure If I want one though.

I am so angry all the time. I think I do a very good job at controlling myself, but under the surface I'm always seething. I get really really angry when anybody touches my things.

I stopped drinking. Maybe sometimes I drink still- maybe once over the past three months. Not for health reasons, or addiction or that I saw it as a coping mechanism. I just stopped because I think it's boring. I'm over it. It's fun, but I don't much care for fun. I stopped drawing too.

Been watching the Sopranos. Season 1 episode 12: Tony hallucinates he has a beautiful Italian girlfriend/wife. He dreams they live together in Italy. I had dream last night I went to Italy, and I saw Paolo Conte perform and I shook his hand. It was the happiest I ever felt, and I was feeling pretty good. It's a day since, I don't really care anymore. I gave up trying to learn Italian again. I love learning about Italy and the idea visiting the country, but I don't think I would ever visit. Wouldn't be much point, my Auntie tells me everything everywhere is all the same these days.

I finally started reading Charles Bukowski. I like him.

Listening to Paolo Conte and writing to feel less angry.